Speak it into the Light & Forget the Lies

There are times when you realize you've tormented yourself enough. The constant thinking, the silence, the terror. It grows. It turns into a monster. This can play out in many ways: jealousy, fear and anxiety, insecurity...we could start a white board. But let's not.

If quiet desperation morphs to what my husband calls "speaking it into the light" (you may be guessing now I'm not always as communicative as I could be) it changes everything. In the light I can turn the thing over in my hand like a rock that was buried in clay and decide if this thing is in fact - ridiculous. Wherever I am, I want the light.

If a societal norm mocks women or anyone I'm going to point it out, and probably here more than anywhere. Since clothing and outward appearance are the way that we unfortunately snap judge situations without thinking, and since having my own way in that realm fascinates me, it all ties together. And it ends up a jar of light, a cracked pot with more light for all to see. More empathy for suffering and more room for inspiration.

The topic is limited but the implications are eternal. It's deeper than the satisfaction of creating a kick-ass outfit from a second hand store for $15. It's about being the only human ever before who will be you. The real secret of personalized fashion is deciding that it works for you, this particular expression, for today. For a person like me every day can look profoundly different. Thus the 'diverse' outfits my colleagues notice. A great written description by a truly talented author cleverly captures a moment so perfectly with sensory detail and wise observations that you stop, awestruck, feeling understood. Clothes that feel right for me today are a similar triumph, an expression that is mine which I can publicly share while feeling happy and comfortable.

So along with ideas about individuals conducting clothing hunts at second hand stores (jewels finding gems) I'll have some thoughts for you about the value of individuals, what I think real beauty is, the falseness shoved in our face that I reject utterly and economically,

and more examples visually for you to evaluate (please do comment), find some entertainment and maybe even some fun inspiration all your own. I accept many aesthetics so long as they are not mass produced which I suppose marks me as a Gen-X. My least favorite saying "it is what it is" applies here, unfortunately. Real charisma will outshine and utterly mock trite marketing every time. I see the results every day at work with real estate brokers who develop a message that is truly who they are and it naturally extends to their messaging, demeanor, digital storefront - it's consistent because it's true. As marketing manager I love seeing that and seeing those who embrace it kick butt.

Happy and free to say "I like it" without too much self-conscious regard for anyone's rules (however not like the topless woman walking down Oak Street this week. That's NEXT LEVEL). Rather, it's a semi-conscious awareness and self question: what does this outfit tell my children, my mom, my friend, my boss (about me)? And it is fun to be the finder of the treasure and explain how you happened upon these interesting shoes, intriguing scarf or slightly old ladyish pin that charms almost against your will. Maybe the most important question for us is:  does it say "I respect me"?

P.S. If you ever come over 
and I'm wearing my ugly, relaxed, bizarre clothes you'll know you're seeing an assumption externalized: you love me, I trust you.

P.S.S. If you are going to layer clothes 
and aren't sure how it's going to look, do you ever layer them on the hanger to see if the fit and flow is right? Works great. Or lay out the whole thing with the shoes nearby and see if the colors look happy together. I often change shoes based on this information.

P.S.S.S. Dress before styling your hair. 
woman on ocean wearing dress talking photo during sunsetThe clothes may dictate and  play off the hair. For example, a dress or shirt showing a lot of upper back and collar bone may make you look like a naked pinhead if you wear your hair up thus accentuating the nakedness. Better down in this case with nakedness peeking out rather than blaring a horn.